Birkbeck 1 – 2 Five

Match Report
Birkbeck 1 – 2 Five
Wednesday 2 November 2011, 1-2pm

Or Birkbeck won, five two, as the BBC announcer might put it. Were such a misinterpretation of the scoreline to spread among followers of Birkbeck FC, it would seem an unlikely enough scenario to those familiar with the team’s recent fortunes for them to seek confirmation from an official source before accepting it as fact.

Ridiculous as it may sound, though, Birkbeck created enough chances here to pull off an emphatic victory. That they failed to do so, and ended up losing the game, was down to a combination of factors. Individual mistakes proved costly at the back, while significant attacking pressure brought only the one goal in response.

Without wanting to give away too much tactical information to opposing teams with access to the internet (or jeopardise sales of the forthcoming hardback - How to Substitute Your Captain with a Rugby Tackle: A Manager’s Guide by S. Parrott, available for Christmas from all good bookshops) Birkbeck’s solid start to the season has been based upon a well-organised defence and keeping things tight at the back early on. And so it was here, with Birkbeck matching Five’s every move and looking in little danger, while giving occasional hints of their attacking prowess at the other end. The best (by which I mean, best-remembered - by me) of the first-half chances came when Pearce, playing the first half in a slightly more advanced position, stung the hands of the Five goalkeeper with a long-range shot.

Birkbeck were able to send on club-captain Schmidt and last season’s top-scorer Nduka in the second half, and the general feeling among the technical staff in the dugout (by which I mean Parrott and Throup standing on the touchline with assorted well-wishers) was that a win was perfectly achievable.

Unfortunately, though, Birkbeck conceded two sloppy goals in quick succession. First, a Five attacker found himself in acres of room on the right hand side, and after having an age to line up a shot, somehow managed to scuff one into the net through a crowd of Birkbeck defenders. Minutes later, a lapse of ball control at the back following a Birkbeck corner allowed the Five centre-forward all the time and space he needed to break away and slot home the second goal. (No point playing the name, shame and blame game here, although it’s worth noting the manager’s immortal words, "Thank God Andi was on when they scored their goals, otherwise we’d never have heard the end of it.")

In the darkest days of previous seasons, two goals could often become four, five or six, as heads dropped and tempers were lost, but this time, Birkbeck roused themselves to produce an inspiring attacking performance. Kirkland, again, was everywhere, and was unfortunate not to grab a goal when he hit the crossbar with a dinked finish. Elsewhere, long-range shots, counter-attacking breaks and goalmouth scrambles came thick and fast, but somehow Five managed to escape every time.

Birkbeck could be forgiven for thinking it wouldn’t be their day when Nduka, who had been a thorn in the side of the Five defence throughout the second half, fashioned an unbelievable chance for himself, only to blast high and wide when presented with an open goal (think Fernando Torres’s recent miss at Old Trafford, but recreated as one of Baddiel and Skinner’s Pheonix From the Flames moments).

Still, the striker was on hand to produce a close-range finish when the next opportunity presented itself, setting up a tense final few minutes. Despite their best efforts, though, Birkbeck were unable to force home the equaliser they unarguably deserved.

It was unfortunate that the team’s most potent attacking performance was coupled with their least assured defensive one, but overall, based on this display, the signs look good for the rest of the season (without wishing to jinx us or anything).