Birkbeck 2 – 1 Universal

Match Report
Birkbeck 2 – 1 Universal
Monday 11 July 2011, 1-2pm

The Master of Birkbeck mentioned this victory in his end-of-year address to staff, and given the circumstances, it was entirely appropriate for him to do so. Put simply, this was a monumental effort, with the team comprehensively outplaying one of the league’s leading teams. In defeating Universal, Birkbeck denied their opponents the chance to win the title, but more importantly the result secured their own future in the Coram’s Premier League for 2011-12.

With the league administrator on annual leave, Birkbeck were unsure of what was required from them in their final match. The team knew victory would guarantee safety, but anything other than a win meant relegation was more than likely. Pre-match words of inspiration from the management produced a limited level of e-mail bravado from the squad, although Jennings’ joke referencing the chorus of the Blur single The Universal (“It really, really, really could happen...”) was perhaps indicative of the general feeling of nervousness/hysteria/hope-above-expectation within the camp.

The team were cheered on by a selection of colleagues who braved the altogether not-unpleasant sunny afternoon conditions, although some preferred to take a more distant view of proceedings and were later dubbed (although not by me) the “prawn sandwich brigade”. Still, all the support was welcome, and those that were actually watching were treated to the best display of football Birkbeck had produced all season.

It would be no exaggeration to say that Birkbeck completed outplayed Universal in the first half. Indeed, the only major worry was that they would once again fail to convert their superiority into a meaningful lead. A Kirkland effort that rebounded off the crossbar was the best of handful of decent chances, and prompted nervous looks among the Birkbeck management and support – would it be their day after all?

But such doubts were soon dispelled when Dr Geoff Walters bundled the ball home from close range to give Birkbeck the lead. Not the most aesthetically-pleasing goal of all time, it has to be said, but it was nevertheless celebrated in a manner befitting a 30-yard overhead kick, such was its importance.

The second half saw Birkbeck face a more determined and focused Universal side, who put their opponents on the back foot with a period of sustained possession and attacking pressure. Still, while the general air of tension hardly helped the general health of the Birkbeck management, clear-cut chances were few and far between.

In fact, the defence of Jennings, Walters, Pearce and Schmidt rarely looked in too much trouble (although they were certainly made to work hard) and a clean sheet seemed to be on the cards until the Birkbeck captain lost possession of the ball while attempting a backheel in a dangerous area of the pitch, and promptly sent a Universal attacker crashing to the floor in a desperate attempt to rectify the situation.

While the Birkbeck skipper certainly appeared to be making an effort to restrain his now-legendary outbursts in this match, the gravity of the situation would surely have persuaded him to abandon such a policy and pursue a lengthy argument with the opposition captain about the decision to award a penalty had it not been such a clear-cut offence. After his half-hearted protests were waved away, the spot-kick was converted, and with minutes remaining the ashen-faced expressions on the Birkbeck bench told their own story.

Remarkably, though, the lead was soon re-established. In a turn of events only previously witnessed in Hollywood representations of sport, Schmidt produced his very own Rocky moment when he powered forward from the back, danced through the entire Universal defence and smashed home an emphatic finish to produce rapturous, and slightly astonished applause from his Birkbeck colleagues.

Emboldened by this miraculous act, Birkbeck fought hard in defence while continuing to threaten on the counter-attack. A third goal would certainly have been welcome, but it was not to be, although Kirkland (who doubled as inspirational central midfielder and marauding second-striker in this match) hit the bar for a second time in the dying minutes.

The management and supporters were by this point shooting anxious glances towards the Coram’s office, only to witness the man in charge of the final whistle tucking into tea and cake with a distinct lack of urgency. But, after what seemed like an eternity, the victory was eventually confirmed.

Congratulations are due to every member of the Birkbeck team for a performance of quality and endeavour; and thanks to everyone else who contributed, either on the pitch or off it, during this difficult season. If this performance is anything to go by, we can hope for better things next year.