Birkbeck 2 - 0 Dynamo

Match Report
Birkbeck 2 - 0 Dynamo
Wednesday 15 June 2011, 1-2pm

Let’s not mince our words: defeat here, and it would have been curtains. Thankfully, Birkbeck produced an assured performance when they needed it most to take three points from their nearest rivals and move out of the relegation zone.

As kick-off approached, it seemed unlikely that there would be any match at all, and as this correspondent arrived at the ground the only thing to bear witness to was a Birkbeck squad keenly going through some warm-up routines (obvious joke alert: there’s a first time for everything) and a manager wearing a baffled expression while conducting earnest discussions with the league’s administrator about whether the team could claim a win by default.

In short: Dynamo hadn’t turned up (by which I mean they literally hadn’t arrived for the match, rather than the Andy Townsend, “Nah, dey ‘aven’t turned up ta’day, Adrian” method of explaining away a poor performance). While a team in Birkbeck’s position are in no position to argue about how they pick up points, there was certainly an air of disappointment among the squad as they accepted their fate and began tentative discussions regarding the logistics of an intra-squad kickabout.

Just as they did so, though, Dynamo appeared, and the general consensus was that the match should go ahead as planned. After all, Birkbeck were well-drilled and fancied their chances against this disorganised rabble...hang on, is that our top scorer wearing the goalkeeper’s kit? Initially dismissing this alarming sight as part of some humorous pre-match larking around, manager Parrott soon established that it was more of an unauthorised squad adjustment, and strode over to tell star striker Nduka, using fairly direct language, that he’d be starting the match according to his original instructions.

Thankfully, Birkbeck regained their focus in time for kick-off, and began the match strongly. Indeed, it was Nduka (who, for the record, had an injury niggle, rather than a pressing desire to suddenly install himself as the team’s goalkeeper) who had the game’s first chance, making a darting run to the near post to connect with a corner, only for the ball to flash past the far post.

Birkbeck have made promising starts before, though, and to be frank, they’re not worth a fig unless they bring goals, goals, goals. This time, however, they were able to capitalise on their good play, with Paul Guest opening his account for the season with an emphatic close-range finish.

Manager Parrott had encouraged a return to the ‘classic’ Birkbeck gameplan of trying to stay in the game, not giving much away, and taking chances whenever they came - and it seemed to be working. With the early goal under their belt, suddenly there were 7 men (this league’s equivalent of 10 men) behind the ball, denying Dynamo space, and scrapping for their lives.

At the same time, Birkbeck always looked dangerous on the break and continued to make chances. Sadly, though, none of them were converted, with the Dynamo goalkeeper in inspired form to deny Guest a second goal from close range, before Duffin lofted a shot over the bar with the goal at his mercy (“there was a definite bobble,” he announced later, safe in the knowledge that a team celebrating a rare positive result is unlikely to bother arguing about such details).

The second half continued in much the same fashion, with Dynamo enjoying plenty of possession without ever creating too many opportunities. The main moments of alarm for Birkbeck came whenever Dynamo’s pacey and talented centre-half burst forward in a manner so direct and dangerously effective it begged the question why he was stuck at the back (no offence, defenders) in the first place.

A second goal would have calmed Birkbeck nerves but, inevitably, it only arrived after a whole host of near-misses that only served to increase the anxiety of the management. Unfortunately, my attentions were elsewhere (most likely congratulating myself on my rapier-like wit, or gazing sorrowfully at my injured hand and wondering whether I’ll ever again get the chance to fumble a dribbly, long-range shot into the path of a grateful attacker) when the clearest of these opportunities was spurned – I’m reliably informed, however, that it involved a misplaced backpass, an open goal, and our centre-forward.

Thankfully, the much-needed second goal eventually arrived, courtesy of a good attacking move as Duffin fed Kirkland (who, like fellow midfielder Walters, had selflessly shifted into a more defensive role for this match) to provide the cross for Nduka’s close-range finish.

As Dynamo poured forward there were opportunities for Birkbeck to achieve the previously unheard-of riches of a three-goal lead. Substitute Billy Scott raced clear of the Dynamo defence and beat the ‘keeper with his shot, only for it to drag agonisingly wide of the post.

Still, it was a victory, and a well-deserved one at that. What else should I mention? The Dynamo ‘keeper played quite well (I particularly admired the way he kept stopping the ball going in the net) – but everyone played well for Birkbeck. Rather than dragging out the usual platitudes about the whole team deserving credit etc etc, let’s name them all, shall we?

So: Jennings, Kirkland, Pearce, Walters, Ap Garth, Guest, Duffin, Nduka (Tirbhowan, Scott) – well played, you chaps. Bravo!

p.s. We still haven’t avoided relegation.