Birkbeck 0 - 5 BM

Match Report
Birkbeck 0 - 5 BM
Wednesday 25 May 2011, 1-2pm

Fans of any struggling team will be familiar with the feeling of having their hopes raised one week and then spectacularly dashed the next. An encouraging performance against ITV2, during which the team managed three – yes three – goals (in the same match!) might have tempted a less weary and cynical correspondent to utter the phrase “turning point”, especially with a match against supposed also-rans BM to follow.

Yet, even the cautious levels of optimism expressed after the previous match were to prove misguided as Birkbeck succumbed to a heavy defeat here. In truth, they were better than the scoreline suggests, but after a series of effective counter-attacking moves left the team trailing by three goals before half-time, they were always facing an uphill struggle.

BM had given very little cause for alarm during previous encounters, but they were emphatically the better side in this match, urged on throughout by their ageing but extremely talented captain/manager, who later admitted to Birkbeck’s (non-playing) coaching staff that his team featured more than one or two ‘ringers’ - heartless mercenaries with absolutely no ideological commitment to [insert whatever BM do here] yet all too happy to take large sums of money in brown envelopes* as an inducement to crush the innocent dreams of their opponents.

If there were any highlights, they’ve long been eroded from this correspondent’s memory. This result is the past – Birkbeck need to focus on their future. So, let all the analysis fall away like yellow, aged newsprint: Birkbeck vs. Dynamo IS this season – let’s go out and get a result**.

*Legal note: there is no evidence that money changed hands, or that any was placed in brown envelopes.
**This implies I have something to contribute, which I don’t. “We” refers to the team, of which I am no longer a part. Trufax: Birkbeck’s only win this season was achieved when I was out of the country. Sadly, I’ve no other holidays planned.